Writing+tips+and+exemplars

Exemplars for Victori﻿an paper:

Sample introduction:

Feminism, in the modern world, calls for complete equality in society and law as feminists continue their crusade against the patriarchal traditions still prevalent. Elizabeth Cady Stanton and her comrades popularized the movement during the fight for women's suffrage through the turning of the nineteenth century. Since then, feminism often is correlated with images of power suits, independent women, and an ever constant drive for full equality. Rarely, however, does the concept of feminism synthesize with images of governesses and Victorian society. In //Jane Eyre//, Charlotte Bronte vocalizes much of the same concerns as modern feminists through her representation of feminism, embodied in Jane, despite the surrounding social expectations and customs. Bronte explores the obstacles facing successful female independence in Victorian England through the evolution of Jane from a trapped young girl into a capable woman.


 * Sample body paragraphs using critical work:**

However, Bronte's novel does not recommend Christianity in its entirety. As Jane grows closer to St. John and his family, she discovers St. John is in love with a neighboring woman. St. John refuses to act upon their mutual affection, though, because he believes his fate lies in missionary work, for which the young girl would be most ill-suited. St. John argues, perhaps correctly, “that [Miss Oliver] is not the partner suited to me; that [he] should discover this within a year” (Bronte 398). Jane's dissatisfaction with St. John's choice of practicality over emotion grounds Bronte's argument that a complete following of Christian ideals is not always the best path. Moreover, as Arnold Markley suggests, “Jane is able to gain a new perspective on her relationship with Mr. Rochester when she meets her cousin, St. John Rivers” (3). As mentioned before, he rejected his love, Miss Oliver, because she was not well suited to his plans of a missionary life. Likewise, he later chooses to propose to Jane because her plainness and quick ability to learn would be ideal for a missionary's wife. St. John's practical proposal, although made in sincerity and fondness, pales in comparison to Rochester's passionate love for Jane. Jane's realization that she cannot marry without love cements Bronte's idea that marriage should not be the calculated arrangement it often was during the Victorian era. Bronte supports relationships based in love, instead of practicality or society, because they tend to be partnerships instead of business transactions.







** Example of 8-9 paragraphs for "Letters in the Family" ** :


 * Introduction #1: **

As the 21st century crawls onward, the lines defining official families have become more and more vague. Adrienne Rich presents her theory on the family through her poem “Letters in the Family” by highlighting the importance of any sort of family structure to each and every individual, particularly in times of pressure and stress. She also theorizes that a family can be described as any group of humans that share a close-knit emotional relationship. Rich goes further by depicting women as the greatest players in family bonding and emotional expression. These points are skillfully portrayed through Rich’s differences in syntax and voice as the speaker, setting, and situation of the letter changes drastically. On the other hand, the similarities between the construction, situation, and voice of the letters can be analyzed to draw universal theories about all women involved on multiple levels of the family. –Ian H.

In most belief systems around the world, the roles of women and the concept of family go together. This has been true for millennia. Roman women were traditionally the keepers of home and hearth. In 1950s America, women were portrayed in pop culture as fulfilling similar roles, as exemplified by June Cleaver in the sitcom “Leave it to Beaver.” Often in history, poets have been among the first people to question societal norms and gender roles. In Adrienne Rich's “Letters in the Family,” Rich uses imagery and tone to assert that women can fulfill the roles of daughter, sister, and mother, while still participating in politically important and violent matters. –Connor S.
 * Introduction #2: **

Like Rochelle, Esther is also frantically digging through the remnants of a lost family relationship. She isn't looking for approval, love, or attention. Her piece of the poem is calling out to a physical person, beginning with a heart-wrenching pause before the simple plea is stated: “where are you now?”. With that first question, the tone of the poem changes completely. Esther's tone is one of desperate nostalgia, mingled with humored regret. The letter builds upon itself, starting with uncertain recollection that increases in passion until she finally breaks. Her eloquent sentence structure, phrases such as “just small, frail, inexperienced romantic people” and “the sudden suck of empty space”, immediately ceases. She writes “I hate it. I hate it so”. Then there is another pause in the text, a pause in Esther's thoughts. She ends with a hopeful tone as she thinks to the future, when perhaps she and Chana can once again be reunited, and reassures both herself and Chana that she will always be there. Rich conveys through this letter of tangled and resolved emotions that there is always hope for family relationships. The past is the past, no matter how much it is despised, and as long as there is someone there to do the work, the foundation can always be uncovered. Rich's view of the role of women in the family also begins to emerge in this part of the poem. Part of this role is providing the motivation for rebuilding a broken relationship. Esther's act of writing her letter is motivating herself, and Chana, to stay vigil in hard times and to not give up on their kinship. -Megan M.
 * Sample body paragraph: **

1. The complexity of fluency in each of these paragraphs help show the writers' voices. The writing is **both** intellectually lively and controlled. 2. The BIG ideas/truths of the poem are addressed. 3. In both introductions, the writer moves from big societal ideas and hones their argument down to springboard into a literary analysis. (Think of a triangle: from wide to narrow. With conclusions, think inverted triangle.)
 * __ Note __**** : **

"Letters in the Family" revisions:
Your work today (10/14) is to revise and finish your analysis for "Letters in the Family". To do this, please do the following:

1. Pick up your drafts of your opening paragraphs either in the workspace (Jordan, check your First Class email) or in the bottom bin for your class. If I did not receive a draft, you will not get one back. (Shocking!) Please write your essay in its entirety today.

2. Read over my comments and revisit the prompt: **Analyze "Letters in the Family" and consider, according to the poem, how Rich wants us to view the concept of family and what a woman's role is in "the family." Use specific evidence.** 3. See exemplar for an introduction and conclusion for this essay below. In addition, don't forget strong verbs. If you need help conjuring them, see vivid verb chart at the bottom of the page. 4. Revise your essay into a ball of analytical brilliance and pass in again. If you are passing into the workspace, please label as follows: lastname rich2 5. Wallow in gratitude that you are now finished with the revision instead of up at 3 a.m. trying to finish it for Friday. You are welcome.

Behind the myriad of places and dates everyone remembers, history is stuffed with stories of people who were there and how their tragedies and triumphs affect the human spirit. Though most of history books are full of men's names, women have gone through the same wars and have their own stories to tell. Throughout history, women have been told to stay at home and take care of the children. It's as though, as a civilization, we have been trying to protect all that is good and pure about womanhood from the travesties of war, and even the dog-eat-dog corporate world. Adrienne Rich's "Letters in the Family" consists of three letters written by women in times of war. Through intense emotional diction, Rich created three journeys of women going through similar hardships. One woman is angry, one hopeful and one feels guilty. By juxtaposing diverse tones among the war stories of three different women, Rich broke down the generalizations about women in wartime and uncovered the parallels between women's roles in war and family. "Letters in the Family" proves that women are more than what society expects them to be. Each woman had a reason for fighting in war: to feel neeeded or to benefit others. All the women were alike in their choice to leave their family to fight for a higher cause. In this way, a woman's duty to her family and to her cause are defined. Despite what society thinks, women play more than one role in life. A mother can also be a soldier, whether it be in the form of pushing for better education for her children or fighting against an enemy to support her cause. Women all belong to the same family, a family of mixed races and cultures of other women. All women fight for something in their life, whether they break free of society's bonds is unimportant. No matter what a woman's situation is, she will always be part of that family, or fighting for what she believes in. Her individuality simply contributes to the family as a whole; her fight is simply part of all women's fight to change the world around tem, simultaneously changing society's impression of them.
 * Sample intro:**
 * Sample conclusion:**

INTRODUCTIONS
For **introductions**, the goal is to engage the reader with the big ideas and then lead them to your thesis (think inverted triangle: from broad to more specific). Here is an excellent example of an introduction from our Stafford essay. See how it offers a commentary as it leads to the literary analysis.

From their roots in the turn of the century, industrialism and technology have expanded to influence nearly all asepcts of today's society. Metropolises stretch across the nation and cast imposing figures on the skylines and the hum of machines permeate the rooms of every house. Yet, this has not stopped the ivy from determinedly scaling brick walls nor deterred blades of grass to burst from the concrete. The glare of steel and whir of motors has not subdued the wildlife; the latent superiority of nature is not defeated. In "Traveling Through the Dark," William Stafford's continuous personification coupled with his vivid imagery serves to demonstrate the inevitability of these intersections with nature. -Sydney B.

VERBS

 * In writing, make your writing active, not passive. To do this, AVOID using the verb to be. Choose from the list below to build commentary.**

Examples:

Diction such as “insert word” and “insert word” + verb the tone.

Details such as _, and __+ verb the speaker's__ __ attitude.

First person point of view in Jay Woodruff's “The Secret to Not Getting Stuck” **emphasizes** the acerbic tone.

The syntactical device of repetition +verb (**accentuates**) the speaker's disdainful attitude toward man's inherent nature.

**Vivid Verbs to Build Commentary**
 * accentuate || delineate || escalate || illumine || recapitulate ||
 * add (to) || demonstrate || exemplify || imply || reinforce ||
 * amplify || denote || exhibit || increase || relate ||
 * assail || denounce || extend || indicate || represent ||
 * attest || depict || foreshadow || intensify || reveal ||
 * bombard || display || foretell || lead the reader || show ||
 * capture || elucidate || fortify || lend || stress ||
 * clarify || emphasize || forewarn || magnify || strengthen ||
 * contribute || engender || foster || make evident || support ||
 * convey || enhance || heighten || outline || symbolize ||
 * create || evoke || illuminate || portray || underscore ||